January 20, 2010
I have just begun again the adventure that is a term at Cambridge. It has been an odd experience returning here after a wonderful time during the holidays at home. I was excited to see all the things going on in The Beacon Church and really wanted to stay at home and help out with that rather than return to studying. This whole idea was not helped by a difficult essay on a topic I had little interest in this week. The other day I sat in the University Library reading a dusty book and wishing I was somewhere else. But I wasn’t somewhere else. I was where I was. And there was a purpose in that. God had planned for me to be in that moment and to be exactly where I was.
It is often a difficult thing to think about the amazing plan that God has for each of our lives. Exciting of course but I often find myself wishing I was further forward in the plan or even back in a part of the plan that I loved once upon a time. It is so easy to get stuck in the past or in the future. I think thinking about those things is important, it is wonderful to reminisce of the wonders that God has done in my life over the years and to think on and get excited about all that is in store on the road ahead. But this is not good if it means we miss what he has for us now. Today. In this moment.
That’s the beauty of God’s plan, it isn’t just a series of events planned out on a timeline. It is deeper than that. He has a desire to work wonders in our lives in every single moment. He loves us, His children, so much that He wants to be involved in every minute detail. He is interested in how each second of our lives pans out. He wants to use each moment to draw us closer to Him, to bring us into a deeper, fuller relationship with Him and to work with us to bring more of His love into the world we live in. God wanted me to read that book in the Library, with what particular purpose I’m not sure, perhaps with no purpose in and of itself other than to further my education and to help me in obtaining my degree. One thing I do know is that I didn’t embrace that moment. I didn’t give God the space to move, I just dreamed of somewhere else. It was a shallow moment. I didn’t let myself enter into the depth of what God had in store for me. I saw the book in front of me and only saw that. I didn’t look beyond into what God had for me in that time.
I’m not saying that unless we are wonderfully happy and completely sure of the incredible plan of God for every second of the day then we are missing Him out and should be working harder to see it. I haven’t a clue quite what God is up to in my life a lot of the time but I do know that when I really offer a moment to Him and allow Him to move He meets me and we do that moment together.
I want to do more of my journey with Him. I want to take each step hand in hand with the God who loves me completely and knows exactly what is going on every step of the way. I want to live a deep life, seeing beyond the sometimes boring or frustrating parts and into the face of my God who is behind every moment watching over us and walking with us as we go along the adventure together.
So here goes, this term I will try to embrace the journey with Him. Every step. Not just the exciting ones all of them. Even the dusty books in the library…
November 14, 2009
My power comes with purpose,
My presence is your peace.
My love is your life,
I have set you apart.
You are a marked warrior of the kingdom,
A warrior for my peace in a world of stress.
My kingdom is coming.
I am on the move.
Open up, give up your life,
I have set you apart.
The rain is coming,
Feel it rest on your face, the coolness of my peace.
Let it wash over you, recieve.
I pour my love over you and over this place.
Dance in my rain, get wet.
Let my power, might, strength, peace and love soak to the very core of your being.
This rain is life.
I am the giver of life.
I rain living water over you.
Let it flood your heart and overflow,
Let my joy bubble forth.
I am your God, your King, your Saviour, your Friend.
Let my will be done.
This is something God spoke to me the other night while I was spending some time worshipping in my room. I have been contemplating the purpose of my time here at Cambridge ever since I began the course. I know God has sent me here and that He has provided this incredible opportunity for me here but I have been wondering what the point of it was. Theology is very interesting and I enjoy studying it, but I have had a sense that my studies are not the point of my being here. I know that sounds crazy for a student at one of the top universities in the world but I just know that that is not my purpose here. I’m sure God intends me to study and learn and I know that it will be incredibly useful for the future but it isn’t why I’m here. I think that the fact that it isn’t why I’m here is the point really, I believe that God wants me to be an example of His peace in a place where there is huge amount of stress, pressure and expectation. Because my studies are not top of my priorities, they don’t worry me. I know that God and my pursuit of Him is what matters and in the light of that, all else fades into insignificance. I am able to know peace in a place of stress. Isn’t that so typical of God, putting things backwards! God is so very good at turning things around, His peace passes understanding (Philippians 4:7) and it is the pursuit of understanding that causes the opposite of peace here! It isn’t something that we can strive, His peace is just a gift that we receive because He loves us. The closer we come to Him the more peaceful we are, for He is a God of peace. What a privilege it is to be an example of that peace here. There is a purpose to His power, perhaps I have discovered a little of that purpose for me this week…
November 14, 2009
I am coming towards the end of my first term at Cambridge and have realised that my head is full of thoughts. I have, therefore, decided that I need to have an outlet to allow these thoughts, ideas, dreams and whatever else is floating around inside my head to escape the realm of my mind and become something bigger. The idea of this blog is more for me to explore than anything else, it is a space in which I can venture out with my greatest, worst and somewhere-in-between thoughts and see where they take me.
I don’t know that any of this will be exciting, life changing or even interesting for anyone else but that doesn’t really matter. I have begun to realise that I am on a journey of learning, discovery and adventure which all create vast quantities of thoughts and ideas and my desire is that along the way you might be able to get a glimpse of what is going on in my head as I go and perhaps find it helpful, amusing and encouraging. Who knows whether you will or not? In any case, I’m going to type away…